Sources

Twice a month, every month for the last year, I am stricken by something. I feel like I’ve caught some sort of recurring virus. My breaths get shorter, I sometimes feel like I must put my head down, I start sweating, sometimes my hands shake, and my stomach feels upset. EVERY. SINGLE. MONTH. TWICE. A. MONTH. It’s enough to drive many people to the brink of insanity; in fact, I’ve almost been driven there more than once. I almost looked up my symptoms in WebMD, but then realized I didn’t need to. What is it, you ask? Have I figured it out? Have I gotten treatment? The affliction I am speaking of is actually quite common – or at least what leads to it is. Okay, okay, I’ll tell you.


Twice a month, every month, I receive my paycheck. If I am paid on a week day, I pay my bills that very same day, or the next. No big deal, right? It shouldn’t be, however, after I pay the bills and get gas (of course I pay my tithes, but I will never skip that because the 1st 10th belongs to God – I still get to keep the remaining 90%), I have so little (if any) money left that I wonder, “How will I survive until my next check?” That is the phrase that starts all of the above symptoms. Now, do you see how it could drive a person insane? I’ve had to get a loan to pay $13.00 on one bill that I was short, otherwise the service would have been turned off. Thirteen dollars! Pitiful!

This is the day after Memorial Day & also happens to be a pay day b/c it is the last day of the month. However, because of the holiday weekend, our pay was direct deposited 12:00 a.m. Saturday. This meant that I was not sitting in front of a computer so I did not go to all of my biller websites until I got back to work today. Not a very good decision. First, I thought, since I had worked overtime & one of my bills was lower than I expected, I had a decent amount left over, maybe close to $100! It was at that point that I realized I had forgotten a bill and, once again, I will be left with nothing, or worse yet, owing money for something. Immediately my symptoms started: upset stomach, extreme tiredness, but this time something clicked.

This time, something said, “Enough! Why are you doing this to yourself again? Your bank account may say that you have no money, but who is your Father? Remember Him? He owns the cattle on a thousand hills. He is able to do exceeding, abundantly more than you could ever ask or think! You know your Father, right?”

It was at that point that I decided I would snap out of this, once and for all! I refuse to be stressed out every time I get paid, thinking about how my money leaves my account faster than it goes in. No more of that! This silly little job is not my source. God is my source. As long as I am dependent on this job to provide for me, I will never have enough. So here is my prayer:

Father God, I praise You and magnify You. I am so thankful for ALL You have done for me. I am thankful that you have blessed me to see yet another day and that I am able to speak and write and praise You for being You. Lord, I know it is Your will that I prosper and be in health even as my soul prospers. I know that You are my source and that I should have life more abundantly on earth as well as in heaven. So, Lord, I am asking You, in the name of Your son, Jesus the Christ, show me how I can use my mind and my hands to do work that is pleasing to You and that will increase my blessings so that I may bless others. Lord, please give me the strength to resist temptation and resist negative thinking and continue to hold me in Your hands as I walk the ways You would have me go. I thank You for Your love, Your power, and Your authority. I love You, Father God. In the name of Jesus, Amen.