Monday, March 31, 2008

Well, I haven't come up with a verse yet so I will add one when I do.
I'm just feeling a little unloved right now and it seems like certain people will never be satisfied with anything I do. I have been feeling so sick the last couple of days, but I still went ahead and did things b/c other people wanted me to do them and I didn't want to disappoint them. However, they treat me like I'm a hypochondriac or something. All I did was state that I need some rest. Especially since I am trying to work 2 jobs right now until I have steady income with my WAHJ. *sigh* I guess I am just having a bit of a pity party. I feel like I am constantly repeating myself, but people still don't understand that they are being cold and mean. How many people enjoy being made fun of and disrespected constantly by someone who claims to love them? Why should you even have to ask a person more than once not to do that? I know I'm not perfect and I don't always do the things you want me to do, but I still deserve to be treated with a little bit of dignity and respect.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Changing the Title (again)

Todays Verse -- Isaiah 35:8 -- And a highway will be there; it will be called the Way of Holiness. The unclean will not journey on it; it will be for those who walk in that Way; wicked fools will not go about on it. [ Or / the simple will not stray from it ]

I decided to change the title of this blog back to "My Christian Journey." Hopefully I will keep it this time. :-)

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Today's verse -- Nehemiah 9:21: For forty years you sustained them in the wilderness, and they lacked nothing. Their clothes did not wear out, and their feet did not swell!

Hallelujah! We are finally starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. We've been talking about it and praying about it and now things are finally looking up. We are getting our other car fixed, we're getting checks in the mail, people are just giving us money just to be nice. Thank You, Lord! I do realize money isn't everything, but I also believe it is not right for us to be poor. I also know that the Bible says to "seek ye first the Kingdom..." so we are definitely working on the areas that need improvement when it comes to the will of God.
I was listening to the Bible on a CD the other day and it got to the part where Jesus talked about the Ten Commandments. I knew that there were some I had never broken such as "Thou shalt not kill, Thou shalt not covet thy neigbor's wife," and some others, but I started thinking about the ones I haven't been following. I believe I have never followed "Love thy neighbor..." I think ever since I was little, there has always been someone who I have felt hate toward. Thinking about that now, I really feel terrible. I know every person has some good in them, but why can't I see that when they make me angry? This is something I must work on. I want to love everyone. I believe when I get to that point, I will be on a higher spiritual level. I know I will get there someday, I just hope it's before I'm 85. :-)
I think through my frustration about this money situation, God was showing me that even though I have been following some of what the Bible says, I need to realize there is much, much more I should be doing. Matt. 7:11 says evil people take care of their children, how much more will the Lord take care of us, His children... I have been saying, "God, I am your child..." please take care of me and not understanding why things didn't happen right away. If one of my children needed something, I would give it to them if I had it and God has control of all the money in the world. Now, I realize, if one of my children needed money or something and I asked them to do something first, I would expect them to try their best to do what I told them. God has given me an instructional manual and I haven't been reading and following it the way I should. Once I got a clue and started trying harder to follow the instructions, I believe God is more open to releasing the things I have been asking for.
Thank You, Lord for the wake up call. That's just what I needed.

Friday, March 14, 2008

Today's Verse: Phillipians 4:19(Amp.) -- And my God will liberally supply ([a]fill to the full) your every need according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.

I have to keep reminding myself of this during these hard times. I know they will get better. I know my family will always have food and shelter. I also know that I need to continue to work on my organizational and time management skills and that I need to manage my money better. I can't keep saying that I wouldn't be in this situation if it weren't for my husband. It's not completely his fault just like it's not completely my fault. I believe the enemy is messing with us, but he is not going to win. I must keep the Faith. I must keep the Faith. The Bible says that we are God's children. I know how my parents took care of me as a child so I believe the Lord will take care of me even more so.
I and my family will not be in lack. We will not live in poverty. We will live better than we did before we got Saved. In the name of Jesus. Amen.

Sunday, March 9, 2008

Today's Verse: James 5:16(HCSB) -- Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, so that you may be healed. The intense prayer of the righteous is very powerful.

Due to the blizzard, our church was closed so we had a little family service in the house. It was pretty nice, we sang some songs and read some verses, then watched TD Jakes online. Schools are closed tomorrow so my step-daughter is staying another night. I'm sure I'll stay sane if the kids don't whine too much. :-)
In other news, I was almost at the breaking point on Friday. I was going to try to get some heating assistance. I really hate doing these types of things. I feel like I'm begging. I know the government sets aside the money and we do fall into that income bracket since I only work part time, but it still feels funny. What truly is funny is if both DH and I were working full time and paying for fulltime daycare for the babies and latchkey for ODS, we would have even less b/c of the daycare costs, but we wouldn't be eligible for any assistance. Anyway, the application I filled out beforehand, and the website, both said you could use your W-2's to show your income. After driving all the way there in the snow and waiting even though the only other person in front of me had left, they finally got my information and informed me that they had to actually have each and every paystub for the last 3 months and the W-2's were basically worthless. I got in the car to leave and I just had to sit and cry for a little while. I talked to God and asked how bad things had to get before we could have a breakthrough. When we were doing all kinds of things wrong, we still were okay, financially. We went on dates and out to dinners with the kids, ordered pizza's, bought new shoes when someone needed them, were able to pay the bills. We were doing just fine, but emotionally, and spiritually, we were poor. I don't believe God meant for us to just trade in one form of poverty for another. I know this is just temporary, but it's been going on for awhile and I just couldn't take it anymore. I just kept praying and crying the whole way home. I finally decided that there would be some good financial news at home. I said, "In the name of Jesus, there IS some good news at home."
Finally, when I got home, DH knew exactly what was wrong with me and he encouraged me. He told me things would be fine even though his first check from his new job (which already wasn't going to be a full check) hadn't yet been deposited in his account. About an hour later, the mail came and with it came his check and something else that meant we'll be getting some more money in a couple of weeks! I was so happy! I knew my prayers had worked. I believe we are coming out of this...whatever it is. I know things are going to be better from now on and I'm not going to stop praying!